Patience is a Virtue
Losing your patience can damage your career and your
personal relationships.
Learning to become patient puts you in the pole position to
display self-control, show restraint, and delay gratification. Patience is
effective on all kind of wounds. It is simply up to you to learn how to apply
patience and watch your frustration go away as your peace comes.
“Patience and fortitude conquer all things.” – Ralph Waldo
Emerson
Step 0. Learn to visualize
Spend time alone before a frustrating situation comes up.
During this period, you can visualize how you want to react when you are
triggered by something or someone. Visualize how you will handle the situation,
what you will say, and how you will look for (or react to) the trigger.
Understand that how you react should not escalate or aggravate a situation.
Visualizing the perfect situation will help you be calm when you are pushed by
a trigger.
Step 1. Know what your triggers are
Losing your patience frequently should make you more aware
of what triggers it. You should focus on what triggers you to lose your
patience, whether it is when your coworker does something irritating or when
your spouse doesn’t pay attention to what you have to say. While some triggers
are more frequent than others, you should be aware of them to learn patience.
Step 2. Learn to count to 10
This works most of the time. By counting (in your mind)
slowly from 1 to 10, you will be able to release the initial impulse to yell or
do something out of frustration. Be calm and focus on your breathing to
practice this tip more effectively.
Step 3. Take deep breaths
Losing patience should give you enough time to take a deep
breath. Breathe out slowly when you first start to lose your patience. Take
another three breaths. And another. Slowly, your frustration will melt away.
Step 4. Learn to manage your emotions
How you react in every situation is in your hands. The
choice is yours. You should be able to choose whether or not you want to be
patient. It is all up to you to manage your emotions.
Step 5. Learn to relax your body
You can consciously focus on relaxing your body. The truth
is that impatience has a way of pushing you to tense your muscles
involuntarily. Take slow deep breaths and relax your muscles from your toes up
to the top of your head.
Step 6. Use tally marks
With this strategy, you keep tally marks on a little sheet
of paper every time you lose your patience. What the tally mark strategy does
for you is help you control your impulsiveness and your quickness to act. It
helps you to be more aware of your response rate, making you work out an
alternative reaction rather than act impulsively.
Step 7. Don’t sweat over it
Start small and do not become overly engrossed in being
patient. Practice and learn to take each strategy in strides. The truth is that
you cannot become patient overnight. Focus on the triggers that induce a mild
impatience within you. Start with the trigger that pushes you mildly and focus
on that one trigger. By controlling this trigger, you can move on and use what you
have learned to focus on the next small trigger. Learn to focus gradually and
practice this accordingly. Slowly, you will get to your destination. It takes
time but it can be done if you direct your effort, one at a time.
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