Healthy In Love Part 2
PLEASE READ PART 1 BEFORE READING PART 2...
Reliance on Others
If we look to our relationships to complete us and fulfill our unmet needs for happiness and love, then those relationships often result in disappointment. When we believe that persons we are in a relationship with are responsible for making us happy and whole, then we create unhealthy expectations that become impossible for anyone to meet.
This sense of lack can cause us to feel fear whenever our partner is not satisfying our expectations for attention and love. This leads to suffering and co-dependency. Such insecurities cause us to act with jealously and neediness as our primary motivators, or to constantly seek approval from our partner which can become nagging behavior. If this continues and becomes intense and out of control it leads to compulsive behavior, obsessive mindset and destructive actions. It can even mimic addiction.
The main issue in this situation is that we look outside for love and approval but our relationships reflect back to us what we really think and feel about ourselves on the inside. When we are attracted to a person what we are actually drawn to are the traits we feel we lack and the characteristics we desire in ourselves. This can be a hard pill to swallow to those who are living in an illusion misguided by a lengthy duration of suffering, emotional pain and unhealthy love.
In order to fulfill our unmet needs for worthiness and love, we must learn to love ourselves fully. What we really seek is to reconnect with that unconditional love, lying deep within the heart of our being. To find true love we must look inward, or internally and reclaim our own self love. This can take time, effort, forgiveness, an open mind, and is more fruitful when trust is strong. Sometimes a traumatic experience can cause this evolution rapidly but there is no guarantee.
TO BE CONTINUED....
Reliance on Others
If we look to our relationships to complete us and fulfill our unmet needs for happiness and love, then those relationships often result in disappointment. When we believe that persons we are in a relationship with are responsible for making us happy and whole, then we create unhealthy expectations that become impossible for anyone to meet.
This sense of lack can cause us to feel fear whenever our partner is not satisfying our expectations for attention and love. This leads to suffering and co-dependency. Such insecurities cause us to act with jealously and neediness as our primary motivators, or to constantly seek approval from our partner which can become nagging behavior. If this continues and becomes intense and out of control it leads to compulsive behavior, obsessive mindset and destructive actions. It can even mimic addiction.
The main issue in this situation is that we look outside for love and approval but our relationships reflect back to us what we really think and feel about ourselves on the inside. When we are attracted to a person what we are actually drawn to are the traits we feel we lack and the characteristics we desire in ourselves. This can be a hard pill to swallow to those who are living in an illusion misguided by a lengthy duration of suffering, emotional pain and unhealthy love.
In order to fulfill our unmet needs for worthiness and love, we must learn to love ourselves fully. What we really seek is to reconnect with that unconditional love, lying deep within the heart of our being. To find true love we must look inward, or internally and reclaim our own self love. This can take time, effort, forgiveness, an open mind, and is more fruitful when trust is strong. Sometimes a traumatic experience can cause this evolution rapidly but there is no guarantee.
TO BE CONTINUED....
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