Don’t Step on Me

There are times when I have felt like a doormat, even acted like one. Not the kind that someone rubs their soiled shoes on to smear out the water from puddles and the dirt of the streets, but the mental and spiritual kind.  A mat that others will purposely or knowingly use to place their powerful feelings, faulty decisions, extravagant desires or sometimes their misdirected anger and cruelty. 

This can be dreadfully unhealthy to my spirit, as I have become their doormat. In lieu I continue to maintain my strength and absorb it all.  As a sponge does, I become saturated, full and unable to carry my own weight. My once porous amiable matter becomes clogged with smut of every imaginable kind. It may well lead to despair, mistrust, physical pain and a feeling of eminent lost.  

I usually identify the muck soaring towards me. Many times I am able to duck, dart and evade the most serious shots slung my way but at times it catches me directly in the heart.  Slowing me down and impeding my necessary escape. I consistently find ways to rebound back, clean my spirit and mind from the clutter left behind by others, however occasionally the mat can’t be shaken out.  The dust does not clear fast enough and my physic is irreparably damaged. I turn to prayer and meditation to refresh my soul, open my heart and mind so I can forgive myself and others for allowing the harm to occur.

I pray to be shown the means away from the circumstances. Don’t we say “what does not kill us makes us stronger?” YES! It’s possible, but what if it does kill me? What if I don’t find the defense I seek? I declare, when I die my soul will rest, because I am saved but please consider me first and don’t step on me.