3 Steps to Loving Your Every Emotion
by: Panache Desai
Your spouse is growing distant. You’re terrified of losing your
job. Your teenager is driving you insane. On the inside, you’re falling
apart. But from the outside, no one would ever know.
No
matter your struggles, you shouldn’t hide your sorrow, deny your fear, or
stifle your anger. You may think you’ve crafted a mighty shield between you and
your pain, but what happens when you don’t shed the tears, face the fear, or
express the rage? Unexpressed emotions erode your authenticity from the
inside out and make it more difficult to embody your soul signature.
If
you’re experiencing challenges in your life, it’s due to one thing—your
unwillingness or inability to feel your emotions. Emotions are actually energy
in motion, and in their optimal state they are designed to flow. When we don’t
experience our feelings, they create a heaviness inside us that narrows our
field of energy, blocks the flow, and keeps us from accessing our greater
potential.
If the
weight of your emotions has you at a standstill, these energy-shifting secrets
will help you drop your armor, love your every emotion, and get your life
flowing again.
“Bucking Up” Stops Here
At the
end of a difficult week, rife with conflict, you decide to surprise your spouse
with a lovely homemade dinner to make amends. He walks through the door
seemingly disconnected and unmoved by the gesture. You immediately blame
yourself, feel unappreciated, and hold your tongue to avoid yet another war of
words.
Sadness
and rejection are often emotions we don’t want to own for fear of appearing
weak, pathetic, or overly sensitive. We think we should “buck up” and be
strong. However, shrouding your sorrow and denying its existence does not take
the pain away. If anything, it grows stronger.
Removing
judgment from your emotions makes you available to experience them honestly.
Let them wash over you and propel you forward with greater awareness and
understanding. Feeling your sadness does not make you a pitiful coward.
Those are your judgments around the emotion of sadness. There is no need
to “buck up.” Sadness simply means you’re sad.
Embrace Your Fear
Numerous
budget meetings are underway at work, and the rumor is: layoffs are imminent.
You’ve heard talk that whole departments may be cut, yours included. Cubicles
are abuzz and you’re freaking out—on the inside. The unemployment monster is
out there, circling like a buzzard on the horizon.
When
fear is upon us, we often respond in one of two ways—silence or rage. We may
lash out: “This is insane!” “It’s Bob’s fault we’re in this mess.” “I hate
this job anyway.” Or we may simply shut down. We choose these expressions
because we’re resisting our true feeling—fear.
When we
distance ourselves from the emotion of fear by disguising or ignoring it, we
think we’re protecting that which we’re terrified of losing. In truth, we’re
creating more stress, insecurity, and mental havoc around the situation.
Instead
of being swept up in a firestorm, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and
accept your fear. Say to yourself, “I am currently experiencing my fear.” It
won’t be comfortable, but stay with it and breathe. You may feel afraid and
vulnerable, but embracing the beast that haunts you is the most powerful thing
you can do. Articulating your unconscious conversations actually frees you of
the emotional heaviness that fuels them.
Anger and Love Can Coexist
Teenagers
commonly believe that the world revolves around them, and this behavior can
drive adults to the brink. When your 16-year-old comes home ranting that
the expensive cell phone you bought him is “so last year,” you want to explode.
Anger
is often our defense against a perceived enemy—a coworker, a spouse, strangers,
or even our kids—but anger is not the issue. Anger is born from fear.
Maybe your teen’s attitude made you fear that he has no respect for authority
or that he’ll carry these feelings of entitlement into adulthood.
No one
wants to get angry with a child, but repelling your feelings of resentment and
fury will only make you detonate like a powder keg later on. You worry that if
you give into your anger, you’ll escalate the situation. Your teenager will
throw a tantrum or feel dismissed or unloved. So as you’ve done many times
before, you put your feelings aside and soldier on. But to fully embody your
authenticity you need to accept your irritation, experience it internally, and
then move on. Expressing anger doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. Your
child, no matter their age, will benefit most when you’re in alignment with who
you really are.
Stuffing
your rage, fear, or sorrow stops you from being your brilliant, authentic self
and living your true soul signature. It’s the acceptance of every single
emotion you have that opens the floodgate of energy and keeps you anchored in
the present. Your emotions arise to show you your greatness and deliver you to
your best life.
It’s safe to know yourself beyond your personality, your
perceived shortcomings, or your story. It’s safe to be exactly who you are, as
you are. And it’s safe to be your sad, scared, irate, magnificent self.
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