Your Own Worst Enemy

Here I am once again, looking at the same view ahead of me that I was pleased to see fade in my rear view the last time.  I know what it is because I have been here numerous times before. Why am I here again?  Am I doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over again? Ooops I did it again.  

Sometimes I laugh at myself but other times I cry. I cry out of anger and disappointment because I can and should be better than this.  What is the repetitive failure for? It’s like I am that hamster in the wheel running in circles always looking for the exit but never getting off the wheel.  I have dissected this before. I found the meaning that I thought was relevant and believed that I learned an important lesson. Yet here I am again. It’s a confusing maze, or something like a mirage that led me back to the same point.  I thought I was taking different steps, a new path, yet still here I am my own worst enemy. 

Three times, four times, eight times, Ten!!!  I see no resolution to my senselessness. It’s simple for me to get rid of others who are conducive to the places in my life that I don’t want to be, but how do I discard myself? Is the answer routed in love of thyself? Maybe logic can assist. I am told to follow Jesus. Can he be the answer I seek? Through the valley of shadows and death Jesus is my shield and guide.  I do follow him but like a hollow headed sheep become lost all over again. I have made the wrong turn and end up looking at my past straight into my future.

I have no solutions just interpretations. The forum is now open.